Parenting is many F’s.
Forever, fun, fabulous, frustrating, frivolous, frightening, forgetful, ferocious, fruitful, fast and flipping rewarding.
I know there are so many more F’s that could fit in there, but before we get carried away let me get to my point. The revelation of parenthood has been slow for me, don’t know how you all experience it, but it has taken me a good three years to realise what it REALLY means.
It means, forever.
It means being their teacher, their educator on life, their comfort and their provider, forever. I think I got stuck on “motherhood” for so long in my head I never progressed into thinking like a “parent”. It was all about making sure that my little one’s where cared for, fed, and slept enough. For some reason teaching them about life and it’s consequences just never kicked in. I thought it would be natural, that the “mother” in me would just switch on one day and I’d start sprouting meaningful sayings and imparting wisdom to my sons.
This is not the case.
Parenthood, or imparting wisdom and learning to our kids is an intentional thing. We have to make a conscious effort to remember to teach our kids about things like sharing, being nice to others, not judging people, having a caring heart, not kicking the cat and so on.
There are so many ways to do this, and this part of parenting can look very different in each family, but it all comes back to your family values. What are the non-negotiable things that you and your family believe? For us a big family value is “never leave a brother hanging”, I know we sound like a gang, but we are a gang, a gang of family that will watch each others back no matter what. Like the penguins say “never leave a man behind”. That’s us. Another value we have is that we treat people with respect, all people.
These are just TWO of the many deeply ingrained values that we have as a family, they are the natural “ethos” that runs through us. Someone at our mommy group said it’s like “us Voster’s don’t do that” or “us Voster’s do it this way” (names changed). This statement made a lot of sense to me, that if we are going to raise, or parent our children then we have to have a value system in place, something that we know “the vanvee’s” do or do not do. It’s good to think about it and note when you notice something that only you as a family do. It’s fun too, cause it reveals the uniqueness of each family, and that’s what make us so interesting and diverse.
So parenting is so many things, raising our kids is tough, but we have to remember that being a family is fun, fabulous and together forever.