Yup it happened. It finally happened. I am getting off the mommy guilt train. It only took 4 years and two kids to get there, but I’m disembarking, and I’m not coming back. I just read yet ANOTHER post on FaceBook about the pressure that modern society places on parents, especially mothers, and I had this to say when I shared the post:
I hope MOST of you, yes YOU, read this…to the very end…and then THINK before you share posts about – screen time/nutrition/sleep training/potty training/co-sleeping/vaccinations/birth types etc think about what message your 3 second finger tap is going send out to the world, who may or may not have the ability or mental capacity to filter…you know “if the shoe fits”… we need to be KIND to each other…especially moms, mothering is tough, and difficult and guilt ridden BEFORE we go onto FaceBook or Instagram or Pinterest so lets share KIND, UPLIFTING things that will pop up on one-anothers news feeds…cause I for one am totally OVER all the mommy guilt that floods my life!
It’s a case of enough is enough. We are told so many things to do and not do from well meaning folk, doctors, coaches, midwives, teachers, bloggers and our own mothers that it’s tough to sift through all the stuff and just get down to mothering our kids. Do the best you can with what you have. If you can’t breastfeed, then don’t! If you can’t leave your job for financial reasons or you LOVE your job then stay there and get help to care for your kids while you are at work! If you don’t have the budget to make organic, home-made food for your kids, then feed them whatever you have and make it a fun, family meal together! Release yourself from the pressure of modern parenting that says you have to have every single toy on the list or it’s better to buy them THIS type of bike cause the handlebars don’t swivel 180 degrees, if you can’t afford THAT bike, buy the cheap one from the local retailer and smile while your kid tries to master it. Don’t fall in the hole of mental gymnastics and comparison with everything you do as a mother, you are a mother, that is enough. Your kids love you, they adore you, they can’t live and feed themselves without you, you are doing your best, you are enough!
My toddler is potty training himself, he still wears nappies, and he decides when he’s going to use the toilet or not, and he nails it. Every. Single. Time. I do not have the emotional capacity right now to deal with potty training like the book says, I work for myself, I work from home, it’s a messy, complicated life and I can only handle so much.
My five month old is formula fed, yup, and on one of the most expensive brands too, I don’t care, he’s fed, he’s happy, he ALSO has reflux, so dealing with that daily is challenge enough than taking advice from others to “put him on a cheaper formula” Yeah, we tried, he cried all weekend and didn’t eat, then he wouldn’t take his meds cause he didn’t want his milk, so that idea died a quick death and we went back to our regular formula, cause it works, and well, if it aint broke, don’t fix it, right?!
So here’s me getting off the guilt train, I have enough pressure on my time and my mental capacity is stretched to the max with my businesses and my limited sleep that I get, cause, well, small kids. So I’m sorry if my life looks a little messy, but that’s how we like it. No more guilt train for me.