Getting off the Mommy Guilt train.

Yup it happened.  It finally happened.  I am getting off the mommy guilt train.  It only took 4 years and two kids to get there, but I’m disembarking, and I’m not coming back.  I just read yet ANOTHER post on FaceBook about the pressure that modern society places on parents, especially mothers, and I had this to say when I shared the post:

I hope MOST of you, yes YOU, read this…to the very end…and then THINK before you share posts about – screen time/nutrition/sleep training/potty training/co-sleeping/vaccinations/birth types etc think about what message your 3 second finger tap is going send out to the world, who may or may not have the ability or mental capacity to filter…you know “if the shoe fits”… we need to be KIND to each other…especially moms, mothering is tough, and difficult and guilt ridden BEFORE we go onto FaceBook or Instagram or Pinterest so lets share KIND, UPLIFTING things that will pop up on one-anothers news feeds…cause I for one am totally OVER all the mommy guilt that floods my life!

 

It’s a case of enough is enough.  We are told so many things to do and not do from well meaning folk, doctors, coaches, midwives, teachers, bloggers and our own mothers that it’s tough to sift through all the stuff and just get down to mothering our kids.  Do the best you can with what you have.  If you can’t breastfeed, then don’t!  If you can’t leave your job for financial reasons or you LOVE your job then stay there and get help to care for your kids while you are at work!  If you don’t have the budget to make organic, home-made food for your kids, then feed them whatever you have and make it a fun, family meal together!  Release yourself from the pressure of modern parenting that says you have to have every single toy on the list or it’s better to buy them THIS type of bike cause the handlebars don’t swivel 180 degrees, if you can’t afford THAT bike, buy the cheap one from the local retailer and smile while your kid tries to master it.  Don’t fall in the hole of mental gymnastics and comparison with everything you do as a mother, you are a mother, that is enough.  Your kids love you, they adore you, they can’t live and feed themselves without you, you are doing your best, you are enough!

My toddler is potty training himself, he still wears nappies, and he decides when he’s going to use the toilet or not, and he nails it. Every. Single. Time.  I do not have the emotional capacity right now to deal with potty training like the book says, I work for myself, I work from home, it’s a messy, complicated life and I can only handle so much.

My five month old is formula fed, yup, and on one of the most expensive brands too, I don’t care, he’s fed, he’s happy, he ALSO has reflux, so dealing with that daily is challenge enough than taking advice from others to “put him on a cheaper formula”  Yeah, we tried, he cried all weekend and didn’t eat, then he wouldn’t take his meds cause he didn’t want his milk, so that idea died a quick death and we went back to our regular formula, cause it works, and well, if it aint broke, don’t fix it, right?!

So here’s me getting off the guilt train, I have enough pressure on my time and my mental capacity is stretched to the max with my businesses and my limited sleep that I get, cause, well, small kids.  So I’m sorry if my life looks a little messy, but that’s how we like it.  No more guilt train for me.dav

Friday Fun.

So it’s Friday, yay, it’s a slow work day, yay, and school starts on Monday, can I get a whoop whoop?!  It has been real, the last three weeks, challenging my parenting and my ability to stay sane to the max.  Some things I’ve learned over the holidays are:

Sweets are bribes to be used in your favour.  

Spend decent quality, focused (no phone) time with the toddler and he will allow you two hours of uninterrupted work time.

Get up early, shower and get dressed, then you’re ready when the chaos of kids starts.

Make sure you never run out of coffee, even if you have to run out of other stuff, coffee helps. 

Building puzzles over and over is their love language, just do it, again and again, the work can pause for twenty minutes.

Sigh, and into term three we go.
Image: Pinterest

Comparison is a Thief

I read a quote last night that made me think. 

“Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own”.

We are ALL created unique, beautiful, one of a kind, otherwise the whole idea behind DNA and how chromosomes match up wouldn’t be fascinating.  We are a “random” joining of cells that create who we are and how we look, but God had a purpose with random, He made it that way so that we ARE unique, expressing another fascet of his never ending beauty and creativity.

But switch it up now, replace the word “beauty” with “success” or “family” or “husband” or “career” and it takes on a much much broader possibility.  

Comparison is a thief, and she will steal every last bit of self worth and confidence you have, if you let her.

Don’t let her.  Love who you are, who you are becoming and the way you look, remember in whose image you are made and be secure in your unique beauty.

Gen 1:26

Dream again.

Sometimes all you need is a kick in the ass. Yup, that’s right, a swift kick in the bum to get you out of your funk and back into the groove.  Thanks to my business bestie, the fire is flaring again for dreaming big, planning things and making moves to change the status quo.  

It feels good.

Just yesterday I was saying to God that I wondered if my life routine would be this way indefinitely, boy was I wrong!  Fresh vision has been birthed and the passion to see lives uplifted and changed has been ignited!  

So now? Dream, and dream big, find that thing that sets your soul on fire and find a way to make it real. Dream again, even if it’s just on paper, then at least the plan can be followed eventually 😉

Habbakuk 2:2

Eleventh hour is a thing.

They don’t call it the eleventh hour for nothing.  The saying came about because it’s real.  It’s been that kind of season for us, everything you trust and hope for seems to come just before you’re about to give up.  When it feels like it’s almost the twelfth hour, things come through, God delivers and the ball keeps rolling.  Your faith is strengthened once again and you’re able to continue going forward.

I wish there was no such thing as the eleventh hour, but then, how would I grow? How would I mature as a person? If not for the hardships of life, how would we learn to appreciate the rainbow?  

There’s a song called “Gratitude” by Nicole Nordeman and it reminds me of this very thing, that even if he blesses us in other ways we will give thanks with gratitude.
Image: Pinterest

 

Friday Fun.

Friday!! Finally!! Can I get a whoop whoop!!

We love Friday in our house, it’s usually movie night, pizza, no bedtime, just chill in our pjs till the little ones pass out and watch a movie together.  But, with our town gearing up for it’s second busiest season, Winterfest, our house will be movie night sans daddy for three weeks.   So any tips on how to stay sane through bedtime without my handy helper and a back that is borderline useless at present?

In other news, Friday also means that we have managed to survive the first week of holidays! Yay!  Just two more of those to go!  Although it hasn’t been as bad as I imagined, and adjusting my work expectations has helped me to stay calm.

Have a wonderful Friday, may your weekend be all you anticipate it to be.

Image: Asherlove Photography by Kim van Vuuren

Parental Warning

There are times when I have very strong opinions about things, like sterilizing animals, treating people with respect and saying please and thank you.  Then there are times when I have overly strong opinions on things, these usually pop up when I’ve had very little sleep, this is when I should stay away from public platforms. Blogging, Facebook etc.  My ability to play nice with others is compromised and I usually get into trouble with my unfiltered mouth.

So I stay quite.

I keep my mouth shut, avoid large crowds of people and generally just keep it low profile, this is for everyone’s safety, I can be quite the verbal assassin at times.  It happens a lot now that I have a toddler and a baby.  Just last night, bedtime took a remarkable three hours, yup, three. Then baby was up quite often with cramping stomach (side effects of reflux meds is constipation), so zero sleep and I truly needed it last night, but hey, soldier on mommy, soldier on.

So if I seem a little quite it’s cause I need to reserve what little brain capacity I have to stay awake, work and be civil with my colleagues.

So send coffee, and some sleep.