Being a mom is challenging, as I’m sure every mother under the sun will agree. Being an older mom is even more challenging, and not for the reason you think. I’m a good ten years older than my mommy counterparts, and yes, I’m not as energetic or physically capable but that’s not the hard part. The hard part is being alone.
When all your peers (in age) have older kids that are in primary or even high school, and you have a toddler and a new born, the timing is never good. Bedtime is smack in the middle of what would be your average “go out and have fun” time. Your sleep is precious and so once the kids are asleep your ability to add another thing to the evening is near impossible. It’s especially hard if you’re a working mom, cause now every spare minute is spent preparing for the next day and trying to get as much time in with your kids means that weekend family time is precious and crucial to everyone’s survival.
So what do I do now? How do I navigate this season of seemingly “forced” isolation? So far not much, with the baby up at 5am and the toddler in his cranky “threenager” stage I will admit that I haven’t had three minutes to asess my life and it’s empty friend corner till a few weeks ago. So the answer is coming slowly, as with most revelations these days. When I find a spare ten minutes, and have the energy to ponder life, some things are very clear.
Don’t stay isolated.
Keep connected somehow. So mommy group every week is crucial. Needed. Essential.
As far as the rest goes, like going to church or get-togethers, they will have to fit in when they fit in. I apologise to my friends who don’t get to see me, my season is extreme and completely overwhelming, but I’m learning how to navigate through it, and I’m sure I’ll come out the other side sooner or later.